we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
