We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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