Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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