you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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