I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
