I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
