You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
