It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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