Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
