does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
