hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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