I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
NoShamevember. You game?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
