How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
