Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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