Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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