what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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