I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
