Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
