Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
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