3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i out mim tonsoeep
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