i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize