Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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