I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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