You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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