Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's never too late to be topless.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
