I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
