Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i think im in europe. pls send help
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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