I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
