dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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