Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
