I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
