So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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