I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
