And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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