Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize