The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
