love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
