no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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