She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
