Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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