i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize