ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
