i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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