I just made out with a guy for $7.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
