he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
