I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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