BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I FOUND THE LEGS
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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