ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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