At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
