Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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