Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
