But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize