you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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