yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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