We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
