Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
