The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
