if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
