i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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