doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
