how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
