Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
