dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
