can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
