Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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