Just fell off a train. Bad.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
