dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize