at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
