Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
