I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
