omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize