I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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