I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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