But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
