Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
