so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
